Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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