whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
