Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
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