the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
