Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
