Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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