did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
