I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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