so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
