My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
