we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
