She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
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I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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