This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
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