Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
