i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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