jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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