Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize