I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
