Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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