i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
His hands were made for my vagina.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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