You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
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I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
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We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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