The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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