Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Ketchup is God's man juice
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
