ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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