he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
