period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
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