He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
