do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
