This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
