i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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