Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
