Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
