but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
