All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
