if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
