How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
