Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
My bed smells like the plague
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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