i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
