You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
