the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I party with great urgency now.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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