hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I need water and some morals
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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