Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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