Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
