So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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