maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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