I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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