Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Just took my morning after pill in the library
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
