he thought i was a dude.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
