i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
