He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
