who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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