i would one night stand the shit outta him
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize