yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
