Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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