don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I can't put those talents on a resume
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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