Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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