i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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