I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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