The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
