i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I know her cup size but not her name....
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
