In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
