i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
