You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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